Archive: Letter to Tilda

(Original FB post here)

Dearest Tilda,

I am writing this letter knowing it will never reach you. It’s too late now. Perhaps it always was.

You know I never much liked cinema, because it affected me so much. It was such a powerful force. I haven’t had much want for the art world. Or any world. I’m much afraid of people.

But then I learned about you, a solid form amongst the haze. I picked my way after you in the hopes of going where you are and finding a way to stand on my own. This summer I did. And I began to believe, for the first time, that there might be something to these artists. You were all so deep and sincere about exploring the world, in living it has far as one could. Film was a method to living. There might be something good about film. It became valid to humanity.

But then you signed the petition.

And you said in that moment that film was more important than human decency.

I was molested once. Some of my friends were raped as children.

How can I believe in your cinema when you would rather stand for it than us? I loved you for your soul, but your love of film wasn’t for its benefit to us. It was for film itself.

So now I do not like film again. It is a painful reminder of what you sacrificed in its name.

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