Archive: Art Experiment part Two: Jesus Christ.

Art Experiment. Jesus Christ.


As most of you know, I have a tolerate/hate relationship with the art world, possibly because I was drafted into it (I wanted to be a scientist, dammit!).

In that vein, I have lined the cage of my cockatiel, Chicken, with a piece of sketch paper.

I am then going to frame the result and sell it.

Will someone buy it?

Place your bets!


Chicken and her masterpiece.

(A few days later)

So Chicken made her masterpiece and we all laughed.

Then today I went to see my gallery guy, the guy that runs the gallery I show at.



Me: Dude! You have to see this amazing artist. You’re going to love it.

Guy: Okay, let me see. What’s their name?

Me: Her name is Chicken.

Guy: Is she hot? I bet she’s a lesbian. (This is a typical conversation detour)


Meanwhile I’m at the computer trying to bring up Chicken’s painting but it’s going god-awful slow and I’m afraid I’ll crack before I get to it, especially when he starts accusing me of trying to sell Chicken’s work because I’m in love with her. Finally I get it on the screen and he looks at it. I’m waiting for him to start laughing, but he doesn’t.


He LOOKS at it, for serious.



Guy: This is actually kind of interesting.

Me: ಠ_ಠ

Guy: I mean, I’d have to see more of her work to get a better idea.

Me: ಠ_ಠ

Guy: …is this poop? What kind of animal did this come from?


Ah, now he gets it.


Me: My pet cockatiel, Chicken. (laughing!)

Guy: So you painted this with bird droppings? That’s an interesting twist.




Me: No, dude! I just let my cockatiel crap on a piece of paper! The fuck?

Guy: Oh I get it. Though you know, there’s people that might still buy this. Can you make more? Like, move the paper around as the bird craps? Then you can get it to crap in designs and maybe even photo-realism. That would really sell!

I Know at this point he’s joking…or is he? I can’t tell, and I don’t think he knows for sure either.

I hate the art world, and yet… it’s almost funny to watch.



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