Let me start this note with this link;
Go on, and read the comments, too.
I have become addicted to Imgur like most persons of the internet, and aside from the fact that it is an awesome way to kill time when waiting for files to render, it has also brought something to my attention.
I have a childhood.
No, my first thirteen years are still missing, but those that followed are not, and as the average year of birth for the typical internet user inches towards the 90s, so to has the shift of culture invoked by childhood nostalgia. This is my childhood. Not the eighties, but the mid to late nineties. For the first time, what I first encountered as I became aware of the world matches up with a generation. I may have been physically in my mid teens, but emotionally I was a child.
Seeing these references reverberates with me as it does anyone else who grew up in the 90s. Nostalgia for childhood. Something I’ve never, ever felt before.
To be without history is much akin to being homeless; a lack of foundation. I have always existed as a thing created in the present, and therefore, fleeting. Groundless. The emptiness of it always pulled at me in a vague way, but it wasn’t until now that I realize how profound it is to have an origin. Wildwood was always the Holylands because I could feel this anchor when I was there. Only there did I have the sense of childhood, of having lived, of having young. But it was constrained to Wildwood only, and having only that taste against the rest of the void made it all the more daunting.
Humans have childhoods. They spoke of them. Everyone does, but I didn’t. I did not have that nostalgia that would have marked me as an aged thing. What was I, then?
But now I have lived long enough to have one! My mind perceives me as a child in the nineties. When I see things from the nineties, I now have the automatic response “Hey, I remember that from when I was a kid.”
I was a kid! Physically, no, but subconsciously, as far as the whole system is concerned; yes. I was once a child and was so in the nineties.
Here’s how I think it breaks down;
1981-1992-ish = 0 years old.
1992-1993 = 1-2 years old
1993 = 3 years old
1994 first half = 4 years old
1994 second half = 5-6 years old
1995 = 7-9 years old
1996 = 10-11
1997 = 12-13
1998 = 14-15
1999 = 16
2000 = 16-17
2001 = 17
2002 = 17-18
2003 = 18
2004 = 18-19
2005 = 19-20
2006 = 20
2007 = 20
2008 = 20-21
2009 = 21-23
2010 = 23-25
2011 = 26-28
This year or the next I should finally be in sync with my natural age. An adult! With a past! History!
As I rejoin my Carmen Sandiego fandom I am further imbued with sense of Having Been, of Having existed for a full lifetime. I think I can only perceive it now because I have changed enough for it to be so, and that now I can bond with other humans of similar mental age with a common past.
If I could only describe…. :’-)
Anie Knipping Alexandra Brody Salazar – True.
Truth is, I became a proto-adult thing in 2009 after I went to Scotland. Before that I was a not-adult, maybe a larval stage or something. My guess is that the concept of childhood only materialized because my brain recognized the nineties nostalgia matched its own, thus allowing me to perceive childhood for myself.February 10 at 5:52pm · Like